Is it real?

It came in the mail today in a small manila envelope. It was my membership to ThyCa - Thyroid Cancer Survivors' Association.

It's just so weird. Part of me thinks that the last part of 2004 was just a dream.

Honestly, it wasn't too bad. I had surgery. I recovered. I had to go on a crappy low iodine diet. I had a radioactive iodine treatment. That's it. I didn't have to endure chemo. I didn't lose my hair.

I will never forget walking into surgery (I had to walk - it was easier and I didn't get the fun relaxation drugs because I was still breastfeeding Haley) - and joking that the "party" was for me. The nurses and doctors must have thought I was a freak.

So as I sit here looking at my ThyCa membership card (yup, I even got a card), part of me still doesn't understand that I really had cancer. I think part of me is still in denial - after all, I was only 28 with a 3 year old and a 4 month old - this kind of thing just doesn't happen.

But it did...and it's okay.