Rearing it's ugly head.....again.

Yesterday I got the phone call that I've been dreading...the call that somehow I knew would happen.

But let me back up....

A week ago, I went for my yearly cancer check-up. This year, my doctor followed different protocol. Instead of being poked and proded with some synthetic drug, I went for a neck ultrasound.

I am a member of Johns Hopkins (I'm being sarcastic...I have an orange id card that means you've been a visitor way too frequently). And thankfully, that is where I had my ultrasound. My technician was great. We talked all of the way through the ultrasound.

And I thought things were okay....until....the call.

As I spoke to the doctor, I could hear what was coming. "We found an abnormal lymph node." and "The next step is for you to go for a biopsy." and followed by, "You have a 1 in 10 chance of recurrence."

At that very moment, the wind was completely knocked out of me. I felt myself gasping to breathe.

Now, I know the odds are in my favor but let me just say that the odds have never helped me before so I can't just be sure that this is simply an abnormal lymph node.

I am so very thankful that I was at work yesterday. The one place where I could cry freely and not feel stupid.

After all, this is what the Ulman Cancer Fund for Young Adults is all about. This is what we do. (kind of ironic - isn't it)

So I'll schedule my biopsy appointment and wait. I'll go about my daily activities like nothing is wrong - knowing all the while that this is hanging over my head.